October 12

I’m horrible at sending birthday cards, I’m even worse at returning phone calls…. so blogging on a regular basis is probably something that isn’t going to happen. LOL So when the mood hits… you’ll hear from me. 🙂  If you know me, you know that’s how it rolls in my hood.

It’s the waiting game again… lol. I have an appointment on October 23 to set up my radiation, and to get a game plan rolling. I”m hoping to take a shot or two of Thyrogen and not have to go off my medication. If I have to go off of my levothryroxine, I’m going to be the walking dead! Not looking forward to that, so hoping the alternative will work for me.

In the meantime, I saw Mary again the other day. To clarify, she’s not an MD she’s a nurse practitioner.  She’ll be the first to tell you she is not a dr. But, to me, she’s my doc.  I love the woman to death. Who else gives me hugs and tells me she loves me at the end of my appointment? And honestly sincerely means it? She spends her summers doing “Doctors without Borders’ And similar things.. She’s amazing, and I’m so lucky to have found her.

Anyway…. her and I had some deep down discussion after she got done doing another breast exam.  I have an appointment set up (or it’s working on getting set up) for a follow-up mammo and ultrasound for the cysts in my right breast.  They are getting bigger, so I’m probably looking at some kind of procedure there.  I’ve got a tumor under my left ring fingernail… but that’s on hold right now, since it’s just a fatty tumor (yeah, I have FAT fingers.. go ahead, make the joke).  I have a cyst in the valley of my spine, but that’s going to wait a bit too.  I’m just falling apart.

The diet changes and med changes from 2 weeks ago are helping a little bit. Having pain meds for this horrific joint pain is definitely a plus. No red meat has already made a big difference, and so has the no tomatoes in any way, shape, or form.  Still rough… I drop stuff because I can’t hold onto them.  It’s sad when I have to ask someone to open my water bottle because I can’t unscrew the lid. I got one that has a slide…. LOL.

Mary’s big into holistic healing. So along with a lot of diet changes, which honestly are healthier for me anyway, she’s also giving me a lot of mumbo-jumbo stuff as some people would call it. Meditation, breathing exercises, etc. So, we’ll try it and see how it goes.  I’ve got an open mind, and there are many things that I think are worth trying and worth the time and effort I put into them.  Plus, in simple terms, I trust the woman, and if she says it’ll help, I honestly think it will.

Since I stopped eating red meat and need to supplement my protein intake, and also because I am STARVING all of the time,  I’m going to be taking a whey protein product? It’s powder.. you mix it with water or into your food.  It will give me the protein I need, while at the same time, it will also help so I’m not hungry all the time.  Good thing, as I constantly want to eat BAD STUFF.

It’s really hard not to drink soda, energy drinks, and bad stuff to keep me awake while I’m at work.  But, I’ve found since I started supplementing with the b12 and such, it’s not as necessary. Plus, I love coffee, and it’s starting to be cool, so hot coffee is not so bad at 2 am.  It’s different when it’s 110 degrees.. I mean, a cold soda is just SO much more refreshing! LOL

I’m getting used to this short hair.  Took me a few days… it still bothers me. But, I’m noticing I am cooler at work! I don’t have to put it up, which is good. It’s less wear on the hairline without having to wear a ponytail holder.  It’s a cute style, and a lot of people think it’s just adorable. So I guess I’ll take it.  It was funny though.. the first day I went to work with it cut, I got “WHY THE HELL DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR” and “WHAT THE F*** DID YOU DO” out of a few people.  Yes, I’ll admit, I did cry like a baby when they said that. I mean, it was a traumatic experience. LOL I’m getting over it….   slowly……    I miss my hair!!!    It was really pretty……      ugh……   it’ll grow back!!!   Having my husband tell me that if it means spending one more day with him, he’s fine with me being bald, because I”m his best friend and he’d be lost without me.. aside from making me bawl, it certainly made me feel a LOT better. 🙂

I’m still having a major issue with the whole breast cancer awareness crap. I know.. breast cancer is a major cancer and many women suffer and die from it. But, it’s NOT the only cancer out there… and OMG so many companies are throwing fundraisers and stuff for it… and it makes me wonder… do they that for lung cancer? And colon cancer? And pancreatic cancer? And …. you get the point.  Why only breasts? Because they have a good marketing campaign? I know.. I”m just bitching…. I’m sure I’ll get over it.

So… here’s one more thought before I leave you. Because it’s been on my mind, and I want to share.  Even though it’s been almost 24 years, my god, since I’ve seen my brother, I miss him so terribly.  I know..  that long, I should get over it… (yeah, I’ve had that said to me).  But, he’s my brother, and I love him, and I miss him.  But that’s not the point. My brother Johnny loved Van Halen.   Listened to it all the time. So anytime I hear “Running with the Devil” or any old Van Halen songs like that, it makes me think of him.  So…..    here’s my observation.

In the last three days, I have encountered 3 young men named Johnny. One was humming Van Halen (had no idea what it was, just that it was stuck in his head), one was wearing a Van Halen T-shirt, and one was listening to “Runnin’ with the Devil”      I get the point bro… you’re up there looking out for me and want me to know….. 🙂